New Year and New Goals

Here we are in a new year. Thousands of people have made the resolution that this is the new year, new me. What does that really mean? Why do we need a new year to work on ourselves? Not only on the outside, but the inside as well. I am sure people have made resolutions to be kinder, nicer, more understanding. My question is why are these things resolutions and not things we seek on a daily basis? Why isn't self-improvement something we should strive for every single day.

We all fight silent battles. Every single one of us. Every single day. Whether you want to admit it or not. My battles include being overweight, having an unhealthy self-image. I avoid mirrors at all costs, because I hate looking at myself. Depression, which I battle daily. Your battles may be different than mine, but you still have them. So I want to know why anyone would want to add to someone's battles by being cruel or mean? Does this give you some form of power in the few you've made another person feel bad about themselves? I am sorry, but I just don't understand the need for that cruelty and how that person can make a "resolution" to be a better person. How about just being a better person and remember that we all walk different paths and struggles.

Sorry about that wondering rant. Now to move on to the real point of this post. I have made some fitness resolutions this year that I would like to achieve. To me they are just small ones, but hopefully attainable. I did have a long discussion with my doctor last month about my continued struggle with losing weight and what I was doing right and wrong. After that discussion she thought it was best that I go on a low calorie diet (currently about 1300 calories a day), and take a prescribed medication called Saxenda that will help trigger the part of your brain that signals you are full so you will eat less.

The first week of the low calorie diet was pretty difficult.  It was an adjustment to find the right foods that would make me feel full for each meal and snacks. I think I have a pretty good balance now, even though there are days I eat more starchy carbs than I should. But changes don't happen overnight, do they?

One of my goals is to become more flexible and I want to be able to do a handstand. So, I am decided to try yoga. There is an app called Down Dog you can use if you want to do yoga at home, but I think I am going to go take classes for a little while to get support and to ensure I have proper form.  My hope is that this will increase my flexibility as well as strength and self-awareness.

One of my other resolutions is to spend more time just working on me and learning self-love. It's hard to be a female in this world. Society has made women feel like they have to live up to certain expectations and look a certain way. If you don't you suddenly become the subject of cruelty and peer pressure. I was always the heavy girl in school. Always. I was also the girl that everyone made fun of for being overweight. I can tell you those things leave scars, they just aren't visible. The best quote I have ever heard is that you can tell a girl she is beautiful,  she will believe it for a moment, but if  someone tells her she is ugly, she will believe it for a lifetime. That one word does so much damage that is hard to fix, but that's what I am trying to do.

Tell me what are some of your goals and resolutions this year?

I will also try to get better about posting in the future and how my progress towards my goals is coming.

Well, here we are again. It has been about a week since my last post. So far this week, I have only ran/walked one day. My shins are killing me, although it seems the compression sleeves really helped with this last run. I also have terrible Plantar pain, which is making it really uncomfortable to even walk.

I did go to they gym yesterday despite all of this to try and get a good workout in. I did my C25K run and added an additional 15 minutes of walking to just try to keep my heart rate up to burn more calories. I also did this to try and get in more steps for my weekly fitbit challenge, my friends husband was almost 10,000 steps ahead of me and I hate losing to him by such a huge margin, so I was trying to catch up. After my fun, my friend met me at the gym. I will refer to her as CJ. She and I did an arm workout, which consisted for bench presses, curls, triceps pull down and lat rows. We started at a low weight for 10 reps and added weight and lowered reps each round. I was pretty proud of myself for doing 90 lbs. on my bench press. Not my best, but I haven't done it in so long, I will take it. Tonight is legs again, squats, lunges, burpees and box jumps, along with a run.

The Start

So, here we are.  This is the start of my fitness journey. I have started this journey several times before and always end up back at the beginning.  This time, I am going to try a blog and hopefully it will help keep me accountable and on track.

I like millions of other people struggle with my weight and image.  I know I shouldn't, as we are all unique and beautiful individuals in our own way, but I just want to be the best version of me that I can be.  I am at the highest weight I have ever been and it disgusts me. I hate looking in the mirror and being in pictures, because I honestly don't like the person I see there.  Now, I know I will never be a model, or a model's size, because it is unrealistic for me and I just don't think it would be healthy.  However, I would like to be a healthy weight and just be happier with myself overall.

I have always struggled with my weight. I was made fun of in school, even though I was never really that overweight. I just didn't meet the beauty standards we are constantly faced with in magazine, on TV and now social media. Due to this, I was an emotional eater.  I state was, as I realize that I had that issue and I have since take steps to correct it.  I still eat on occasion when I get really stressed out, but I try keep healthy snacks on hand. Things such as celery with PB2 or popcorn.  Something quick and satisfying without to many calories.

This week, I started the C25K program again.  I have done 2 days this far and I can tell you my shins hate me.  I have terrible shin splints, so as I sit here typing, I have my feet up and compression sleeves on.  I probably should have worn a pair when I did my run/walk tonight, but I have this fear of looking really dumb while wearing them.  I know I shouldn't feel that way and that they will help, but can you seriously imagine just how goofy I would look wearing black and gray camo capri's with blue butterfly shin/calf compression sleeves and a neon green workout top.  I would look like a hot mess.

My plan is to supplement the C25K program with weight training. So I would be alternating the days I run and the days I lift weights.  So far this week I have just managed two days of running, but hey, we all start somewhere right.

Well, I am signing off for the night. Here's to hoping I get my weight workout in tomorrow. I am thinking legs, which means squats and lunges. Oh boy!